THE CULLENS VISIT THE ARCADE
by LaurenSimone
Summary: This is a really stupid and hilarious story I wrote when I was bored. It's pointless and senseless fun about the Cullen's trip to the arcade. Cullens are vamps, bella's human. Read and review!


(This is just a hella stupid story I wrote while I had writers block with my other ones. I won't be surprised if everyone hates it, so review if you want to!)

The Cullens and Bella decide to go to the arcade...

Bella: Dude this is gonna be fuckin stupid.

Emmett: HOLY SHIT SPACE AVENGERS!!

Carlisle: YOUR ON BITCH!

Carlisle and Emmett go to play space avengers

Edward: Don't look now but mike newtons right over there playing virtual knitting

Bella: That asshole pisses me the fuck off

Edward: I know hes a bitch but lets go play DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION

Edward starts dancing around like a fairy, and Jasper kicks him in the nuts

Jasper: Not cool man

Edward: Fuck you ur the one who taught me to dance like that ho he says while clutching his balls

Jasper: Yea wat ever pfft anyway newtons staring at you edward

Edward: What?!

They look over to see mike newton staring at edward jerkin it

Bella: OH SHIT SON

Alice: That explains why he wanted to get with bella he wants to be closer to eddie hhahahahahahaha

Edward: Shut your trap bitch

Alice: Fuck you cunt face

Bella: Whoa whoa whoa alice be nice edwards self concious about his cunt face

Edward starts crying ITS NOT PLEASENT FOR MY FACE TO SMELL LIKE TUNA

Bella: See its not his fault he just wants to belong

Emmet and carlisle walk back over to join them

Emmett: Fuck yea Carlisle I owned ur pussy

Carlisle: ya but your wearing a thong

Emmett: WATT how did you know

Carlisle: I didn't, but you seiously are? Dude thats sick

Emmett: Whoa is newton staring at cunt face?

Jasper: Fuck yes isnt that awesome

Emmett: That guy deserves to be bitch slapped

The cullens walk over to the virtual knitting game

Emmet: hey mike know what time it is?

Mike: yeah it's a quarter past seven.

Emmett: Seriously? Whoa I totally forgot to walk shnoopie today then

Jasper: EMMETT SNAP OUT OF IT and who the fuck is shnoopie?

Emmett: Huh ummm no one uhh anyway wrong answer mike its BITCH SLAPPIN TIME

emmett in stead of slapping mike kicked him in the nuts

Emmett: sorry man couldnt resist

Mike: that didn't even hurt

Jasper: wut do you mean you just got ransacked

Mike ignores this and walks over to bella

Mike: I'll roshambo you for edward

Bella: Excuse me?

Mike: its when u kick eachother in the nuts till someone falls over

Emmett: NO BELLA HE HAS NO BALLS...

But his screams fell on deaf ears.

Bella: Well okay then that seems fair

Mike: alright I go first

mike kicks bella in the groin

Bella: that kinda hurt

Bella goes and drills mike square in the nuts and mike doesnt even stagger

Bella's foot swells up, it felt like she kicked a rock: well fuck me in the ass and call me aro what the fuck is wrong with ur nuts

Mike: Check dis shit out

Mike opens up his pants and shows everyone was was guarding his balls...

Bella: HOLY SHIT EDWARDS IN THERE

Mike: Hell to the freakin yes

Carlisle: Man thats just unhealthy im a doctor I should know

Mike: yeah right we all know you just go the hospital to fuck billy black in ur office

Carlisle: Heheheh what is wrong with you mike that never happpened...

Mike: Yes it fuckin did I have cameras in your office I love to watch doctor mcdreamy in there and I saw u fuckin billy

FLASHBACK

Carlisle: Ohh yeah billy that wheelchair is kinky shit

Billy: yeah use ur vampire speed bitch mmm

END OF FLASHBACK

Carlisle snaps back to reality to see his family staring at him: WHAT??

Everyone's staring daggers at him

Edward: WHY THE FUCK DIDNT U BRING US ALONG ASSWHOLE

Emmett: Yeah seriously not cool

Jasper: way to think of your FAMILY's needs u bitch (jasper starsts crying)

Alice: since when can you cry?

Jasper: since this bitch started writing a retarded fanfic about us

Alice: Oh I see

Bella: you fuckheads are all on crack and edward get the fuck out of newton's pants

Edward: sorry bella

Bella: yeah bitch you should be

Edward: no I mean im sorry but mike won the roshambo, im his sex slave now

Bella: ESCUSE ME

Jasper: sorry bells but I have to agree with him there

Emmett: yeah sorry guess your gonna have to GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE

Bella: I get the feeling you don't want me here

Jasper (wow this chick is a fuckin dipshit): Oh of course not bella but edward's mikes now so its time for you to leave

Alice: uhh no way bella's my fuckbuddy

Emmett: WHY DOES NO ONE INVITE ME TO THESE THINGS?

Bella: cuz ur a fuckin tank ever heard of jenny craig

Emmett: at least I didnt kiss my sister... LUKE SKYWALKER...

Everyone turns around to see Luke skywlaker making out with leia

Edward: Man thats ur sister sick dude

Emmett: yea thats the line for me

Jasper: well not me see you fuckers later

Jasper walks over to luke and leia and starts a threesome with them

Jasper: UHH UHH WHOS UR DADDY

Luke and Leia: DARTH VADER!

Just then darth vader walks in

Vader: I TOLD YOU WHORES TO WAIT FOR ME GOD DAMN

Jasper: sorry I started without you sup man im jasper

vader: what the fuck kind of shit name is that who the hell do u think you are

Jasper: can you think of anything better?

Vader: of course I can everyone comes up with a kickass sith name when they turn over to the dark side, like mine was annikin but they thought it was too pussy so I came up with darth vader

Jasper: well mine should be... uhh...

Mike: Well I've chosen mine and edwards to be Ben and Ilene Dover.

Vader: See thats a sexy sexy name you cant come up with anything shithole now get out of my threesome bitch

Jasper starts crying again and walks back to the cullens

Carlisle: Well I guess we should play some more games, where to first?

Edward: DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION!! he screamed again.


End file.
